Walk into any convention center or warehouse-turned-volleyball-mecca on a tournament weekend, and you’re hit with the same thing: a deafening buzz of whistles, shouts, and the constant thump of volleyballs bouncing off bodies, floors, nets, and coffee cups.
That’s such a real and frustrating example—and I appreciate you sharing it. It shows how deeply ingrained the status markers have become. For many families, “National” has come to mean validation, even if the actual experience isn’t aligned with their athlete’s development or well-being.
You’re not alone in facing that kind of pressure. The system trains parents to equate bigger with better, and anything less with falling behind. It takes real courage to push back—and sometimes, it takes a whole community shifting together.
Thank you for trying. That’s where change starts—even when it’s hard. Keep going. You’re planting seeds.
YES!! I agree, it is a broken system. What started out as club ball for the elite athlete has turned into pay to play or pay and we will make a team for you. It a facade and it sets up many young girls and families for failure and wishful thinking that IF they play for the right club they will get a scholarship to play college volleyball when in reality if you(the other 90%) would save your money and not play club you can actually pay for your college tuition with the money saved.
Absolutely. You nailed it—the system has shifted from elite development to “pay and we’ll find a jersey for you,” often selling dreams that aren’t backed by reality. The facade is powerful, and families get caught in it with the best intentions.
And you’re so right: for the vast majority, the cost of club far exceeds the value of any scholarship that might come—if it comes at all. What we need is more transparency, more honesty, and more models that don’t exploit hope as a business strategy.
Thanks for adding your voice. The more we name the truth, the more room we create to build something that actually serves our athletes.
Thank you for the support—glad we’re on the same chaotic court together! Let’s keep the sermon going until someone hands us the whistle and a better schedule. 🏐🙏🔥
My solution idea is local “intramural” style play. Coaches know that about 80%+ of club kids don’t need to travel or even be part of a specified club team. They simply need to learn and play. Even junior college and lower level four year college kids just need to learn and play. So why not play EVERY WEEKEND but only a match or two on way smaller teams… like 8-9 max! Everyone must play type format. The only cost would be teams kicking in $40/match for the ref and a snack bar. I would also make the season WAY shorter… like January thru April. Let the kids have a summer!
The top 20% or so can continue travelling if they wish, but I’d still have much smaller rosters so kids get more time on the court. They can train with 12 kids… but maybe travel with 8-9 kids? Use the intramural kids to fill the gap while training.
I love that you are thinking about this and bringing up the conversation. Now the question becomes about $$
I love this. You’re speaking my language—smaller teams, more meaningful play, lower cost, shorter seasons, and the radical idea that kids deserve a summer. Yes, yes, yes.
What you’re describing sounds like something built on intention, not inertia. A model that respects kids’ time, families’ finances, and the actual goals of most players: to learn, to grow, to enjoy the game. Not to grind year-round hoping for a shot that statistically isn’t even on their radar.
And you’re right—it always comes back to the $$ and who’s willing to prioritize values over volume. But ideas like yours prove there are better paths forward. We just have to be bold enough to walk them.
Let’s keep pushing this conversation. We’re closer than we think.
I’ve had teams make incredible improvements over the course of three days because they got to compete against 8 to 10 great opponents all in one short span of time. That’s more great competition than we’ll get in a year playing in our region.
As just one example, my team this year played Open division at NEQ and by the end of the weekend were noticeably improved because they played a ton of volleyball against really tough competition and ended up with new awareness, new levels of adaptability and a ton of confidence in themselves. Plus they had a lot of fun doing it.
And getting to spend time touring the historical sites in Philadelphia made it all that much more fun.
So at least for my teams since COVID, traveling to qualifiers and getting the chance to play much higher level teams than we get to see at home has been key to their development into some of the best teams I’ve ever coached.
Totally fair, Alex—and I appreciate you taking the time to share this. For a high-level team like yours, playing in the Open division at a national qualifier can absolutely be a catalyst for real, meaningful growth. I’ve seen that happen too, and I don’t doubt for a second that your team benefited from that level of challenge and had a blast doing it.
I think where our perspectives converge is on the value of representative, competitive play—where they diverge is in whether that has to happen within a three-day, 10-hour-a-day, multi-thousand-dollar format for everyone.
You’re team has to travel to find meaningful competition. This system was built for your athletes. My concern is that the same system has now expanded to include everyone else—regardless of whether it actually fits their goals, resources, or developmental needs.
Your players got better because the structure fit their level and ambitions. But I wonder how many others are stuck inside the same model without the same payoff. That’s who I’m really writing these articles for.
Grateful for your pushback—it sharpens the conversation, and your example adds valuable nuance.
I think there is a counter point for your whole article. Your “solutions” exist. You can choose to play on a cheaper local team in most big cities or small towns that plays in smaller venues and not travel.
If you talk to most girls they like the in between time with their teammates. Long tournaments means your kid is not getting into trouble at home out with friends. As for college, guys like me will find our players wherever they play. But getting valuable reps and proving you can be a top team nationally is an admirable goal. So I think the article is more written as a parent that doesn’t want to spend and waste a whole weekend in that environment…which is fair. But enjoy the experience because you only get a short time to share this with your daughter.
You’re right: there are some alternatives in certain regions. And yes, some players really do enjoy the downtime with teammates. There’s value in the shared experience, no doubt.
But I’d offer two thoughts in return:
First, just because a lower-cost, lower-chaos option technically exists doesn’t mean it’s truly available—or visible, or respected. In many regions, opting out of the mega-event circuit comes with the cost of being perceived as “less serious,” “less competitive,” or “not committed.” Some athletes and families don’t feel like they can choose differently without being penalized. And some coaches reinforce that perception.
Second, I think we have to separate nostalgia from design. Loving the time you share with your teammates or your daughter doesn’t mean the tournament structure is well-built. That joy happens in spite of the chaos, not because of it.
If anything, we should ask: could we create a structure that still allows for meaningful connection and competition—but with less financial, emotional, and sensory overload? Because “valuable reps” lose value when fatigue sets in, and proving you're a top team nationally shouldn't require 27 hours inside a concrete box with a whistle in your ear and a $12 slice of pizza in your hand.
I’m not saying we throw it all away. I’m saying: if 90% of kids won’t play in college, and so many families are stretching to keep up, maybe the system could use more than just “other options.” Maybe it needs a re-center on who the sport is really for.
Appreciate the dialogue. That’s where better ideas start.
I agree. I wish all thought like this. However, I tried to take my "National" team to smaller tournaments and my parents threatened to leave
That’s such a real and frustrating example—and I appreciate you sharing it. It shows how deeply ingrained the status markers have become. For many families, “National” has come to mean validation, even if the actual experience isn’t aligned with their athlete’s development or well-being.
You’re not alone in facing that kind of pressure. The system trains parents to equate bigger with better, and anything less with falling behind. It takes real courage to push back—and sometimes, it takes a whole community shifting together.
Thank you for trying. That’s where change starts—even when it’s hard. Keep going. You’re planting seeds.
YES!! I agree, it is a broken system. What started out as club ball for the elite athlete has turned into pay to play or pay and we will make a team for you. It a facade and it sets up many young girls and families for failure and wishful thinking that IF they play for the right club they will get a scholarship to play college volleyball when in reality if you(the other 90%) would save your money and not play club you can actually pay for your college tuition with the money saved.
Absolutely. You nailed it—the system has shifted from elite development to “pay and we’ll find a jersey for you,” often selling dreams that aren’t backed by reality. The facade is powerful, and families get caught in it with the best intentions.
And you’re so right: for the vast majority, the cost of club far exceeds the value of any scholarship that might come—if it comes at all. What we need is more transparency, more honesty, and more models that don’t exploit hope as a business strategy.
Thanks for adding your voice. The more we name the truth, the more room we create to build something that actually serves our athletes.
Thank you for putting to words what so many of us believe. You are spot on!
PREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEACH!!! Thank you so much!!! 100% agree!
I felt that “PREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEACH” in my soul 😄
Thank you for the support—glad we’re on the same chaotic court together! Let’s keep the sermon going until someone hands us the whistle and a better schedule. 🏐🙏🔥
So true so let's stop doing this!
My solution idea is local “intramural” style play. Coaches know that about 80%+ of club kids don’t need to travel or even be part of a specified club team. They simply need to learn and play. Even junior college and lower level four year college kids just need to learn and play. So why not play EVERY WEEKEND but only a match or two on way smaller teams… like 8-9 max! Everyone must play type format. The only cost would be teams kicking in $40/match for the ref and a snack bar. I would also make the season WAY shorter… like January thru April. Let the kids have a summer!
The top 20% or so can continue travelling if they wish, but I’d still have much smaller rosters so kids get more time on the court. They can train with 12 kids… but maybe travel with 8-9 kids? Use the intramural kids to fill the gap while training.
I love that you are thinking about this and bringing up the conversation. Now the question becomes about $$
I love this. You’re speaking my language—smaller teams, more meaningful play, lower cost, shorter seasons, and the radical idea that kids deserve a summer. Yes, yes, yes.
What you’re describing sounds like something built on intention, not inertia. A model that respects kids’ time, families’ finances, and the actual goals of most players: to learn, to grow, to enjoy the game. Not to grind year-round hoping for a shot that statistically isn’t even on their radar.
And you’re right—it always comes back to the $$ and who’s willing to prioritize values over volume. But ideas like yours prove there are better paths forward. We just have to be bold enough to walk them.
Let’s keep pushing this conversation. We’re closer than we think.
Not sure I agree on this one Loren.
I’ve had teams make incredible improvements over the course of three days because they got to compete against 8 to 10 great opponents all in one short span of time. That’s more great competition than we’ll get in a year playing in our region.
As just one example, my team this year played Open division at NEQ and by the end of the weekend were noticeably improved because they played a ton of volleyball against really tough competition and ended up with new awareness, new levels of adaptability and a ton of confidence in themselves. Plus they had a lot of fun doing it.
And getting to spend time touring the historical sites in Philadelphia made it all that much more fun.
So at least for my teams since COVID, traveling to qualifiers and getting the chance to play much higher level teams than we get to see at home has been key to their development into some of the best teams I’ve ever coached.
Totally fair, Alex—and I appreciate you taking the time to share this. For a high-level team like yours, playing in the Open division at a national qualifier can absolutely be a catalyst for real, meaningful growth. I’ve seen that happen too, and I don’t doubt for a second that your team benefited from that level of challenge and had a blast doing it.
I think where our perspectives converge is on the value of representative, competitive play—where they diverge is in whether that has to happen within a three-day, 10-hour-a-day, multi-thousand-dollar format for everyone.
You’re team has to travel to find meaningful competition. This system was built for your athletes. My concern is that the same system has now expanded to include everyone else—regardless of whether it actually fits their goals, resources, or developmental needs.
Your players got better because the structure fit their level and ambitions. But I wonder how many others are stuck inside the same model without the same payoff. That’s who I’m really writing these articles for.
Grateful for your pushback—it sharpens the conversation, and your example adds valuable nuance.
I think there is a counter point for your whole article. Your “solutions” exist. You can choose to play on a cheaper local team in most big cities or small towns that plays in smaller venues and not travel.
If you talk to most girls they like the in between time with their teammates. Long tournaments means your kid is not getting into trouble at home out with friends. As for college, guys like me will find our players wherever they play. But getting valuable reps and proving you can be a top team nationally is an admirable goal. So I think the article is more written as a parent that doesn’t want to spend and waste a whole weekend in that environment…which is fair. But enjoy the experience because you only get a short time to share this with your daughter.
You’re right: there are some alternatives in certain regions. And yes, some players really do enjoy the downtime with teammates. There’s value in the shared experience, no doubt.
But I’d offer two thoughts in return:
First, just because a lower-cost, lower-chaos option technically exists doesn’t mean it’s truly available—or visible, or respected. In many regions, opting out of the mega-event circuit comes with the cost of being perceived as “less serious,” “less competitive,” or “not committed.” Some athletes and families don’t feel like they can choose differently without being penalized. And some coaches reinforce that perception.
Second, I think we have to separate nostalgia from design. Loving the time you share with your teammates or your daughter doesn’t mean the tournament structure is well-built. That joy happens in spite of the chaos, not because of it.
If anything, we should ask: could we create a structure that still allows for meaningful connection and competition—but with less financial, emotional, and sensory overload? Because “valuable reps” lose value when fatigue sets in, and proving you're a top team nationally shouldn't require 27 hours inside a concrete box with a whistle in your ear and a $12 slice of pizza in your hand.
I’m not saying we throw it all away. I’m saying: if 90% of kids won’t play in college, and so many families are stretching to keep up, maybe the system could use more than just “other options.” Maybe it needs a re-center on who the sport is really for.
Appreciate the dialogue. That’s where better ideas start.